The following is a re-post from my wife’s Blog, “Helen Jones-WrayOnline.com” I liked it, (particularly bullet point number 3) but then again, I’m quite prejudiced toward the author. So I present it here and leave it for you to decide–enjoy.
Recently I found myself complaining…to myself. (Yes, I’m human. Like everyone else, I sometimes have my moments.)
I was angry about this situation. I didn’t like what was happening. I didn’t like having to make a decision about that situation. I was upset that I had to deal with yet something else. Why wasn’t my life lining up with my desires? Why wasn’t this person responding to things the way I want?
Frankly, I was in an angry funk for about three days — blaming other people and other things for what I perceived to be.
Then my mind reminded me of a very important truth.
I am the only person who can make decisions regarding my life and its circumstances. I can be involved in various types of relationships with a dozen different people, but guess what? None of them can make any determination about the condition of my life — even if they wanted to.
I was blaming others and trying to give away my power. When they wouldn’t accept it and handle the responsiblity in the way I wanted them to, I became angry. My position was ludicrous. Not only were the “others” unaware of how I felt and what I was doing, they had no clue that I had also placed expectations on them.
If a person is unaware of your expectations, how can they possibly even consider fulfilling them — if they care to?
So I’ve had to take myself by the collar and remind myself of several truths.
- First, don’t give away your power. Like it or not, you are ultimately responsible for the decisions you have to make and the situation in which you find yourself. Somewhere along the way, you made decisions that brought you to this point in your life. That’s the bad news. Here’s the good news.
- Secondly, only you have the power to change your situation. Unless you abdicate it, no one — absolutely no one — can strip you of that authority unless you choose to throw it away. Therefore, you can change whatever is not lining up with your desires by focusing on your positive goals.
- Thirdly, widen your perspective. What may appear in the moment to be bad, terrible, disappointing, etc., may simply the more impetus to drive you toward your destiny. It may be part of the process to move you from point A to point B, lest you become comfortable at this point in life. This snapshot of your moment is not the picture of your life — sort of like taking a picture of an elephant’s tail and then trying to define the whole elephant by the narrowness of that one appendage.
- Fourth, if you can read this, you still have the opportunity to do what you need to do to rise above your situation. Your life is not over. Your circumstances — which are transitory — do not define who you are.
- Fifth, let go of the anger. It’s just a symptom of the frustration and helplessness you felt. You’re not helpless. You’re not powerless. You have options, even if you don’t know what they are at this moment.
- And finally, release others from the script in your own play. They are not required to be performers in your life’s production and it’s unfair to them — especially when you realize you keep doing script revisions without giving them a script!
You — and only you — have the power to change your life