What you think of me is really none of my business, so the saying goes. However, what I think of myself is my business. Usually, anger comes on the heels of words uttered by someone else relating to your worth, status or ability as they perceive it. The operative phrase here is “as they perceive it” (their opinion of you).
Get it? It really doesn’t matter what the naysayer thinks of you. The only value in their opinion is the value you give it. If you get angry and and blow up, your response indicates the level of value you’ve placed on the words spoken about you. Could it be that somewhere inside, you have embraced the same sentiment, yet hearing it stated touches a sore spot that angers you?
Here’s something to think about. Recently, author Stephen King attacked author James Patterson saying he has no respect for Patterson’s work (something to the effect that it’s all the same and predictable). Here’s the rub — Patterson (Along Came A Spider, Kiss The Girls, etc.) sold 16 million books in North America alone. 1 in every 15 hard cover books sold are authored by him. He’s sold 170 million books worldwide. At last count he has 53 titles to his name. (Source: James Patterson official web site).
Note Patterson’s response to King’s attack: “Recently Stephen King commented that he doesn’t have any respect for me. Doesn’t make too much sense-I’m a good dad, a nice husband-and my only crime is I’ve sold millions of books.”
Do you detect any anger in his response? I sure don’t. Why get angry? We’ve all seen celebrities and other notables flip the script so to speak in response to what some other notable has said. The question still remains, why get angry? See it for what it really is.
Stephen King demonstrates for us that the idiom still holds true: “Opinions are like an anus, Everybody’s got one.” In the end It’s not what you think or say about me that matters. It’s what I think and say about my self that really counts.