Some years ago I worked for a program called Victims Assistance. Among other things, this agency dealt with the problems of domestic violence. Sometimes men mandated by the courts were required to participate in a ten week program called “Time Out”. (They either participated in the program in lieu of time served, or they went to jail). Here a ward of the court convicted of domestic violence received counseling and took classes to address the issues of anger and anger management as it related to verbal abuse and physical violence.
The violence stemming from verbal or physical abuse is appalling, numbing and tends toward being generational. Most often, I’ve heard guys say it all started when “she” said something or “she” did something. And then he would say “I couldn’t take that” or “I wasn’t gonna take that” (implied difference) and so, “I stepped up–put it in its place”.
“Sadly many people allow their behavior to be determined by what others say or do” -Janet Pfeiffer (Pfeiffer Power seminars, LLC). Somewhere along the line, the message has to get through. Your step-up (as you termed it) was actually a step back. Then there is also issue of the pronoun (it) which is alternately referring to: (1) the supposed or expected order of things (translated control); and (2) the offending person. The message of change came slower for some and for some not at all.
In the end the question remains. Who is in control of you and how you react? More to come.
Have A Great Day!
No Busy Signal 
I have taught school for many years, and your last question is one I have had to ask students (and sometimes parents) many times. Great post!
Thank you for visiting my blog this morning. I look forward to reading more of your blog. Have a great day! Zoom[ba]ing off to log in for work. 🙂
Reading your blog reminds me of an author I know. Angelica Harris is a domestic abuse survivor who has healed many of her own life’s struggles through writing. Check out her website, http://www.angelicaharris.com. Maybe the two of you could work together and help each other out.
thank you. I will try and contact very soon.
You do post a message that needs to be heard and understood. Thank you. Have a great Friday. 🙂
Very intelligent post. Though being born in a joint family i cant say that its the men who are always wrong when squabbles happen still i will agree that physical violence is so bestial that it should not be happening.