This is another blog my wife and I tagged teamed together on.
Have you ever said to someone “You make me angry”? Did you know that’s really not true? In fact, you are solely responsible for choosing how you respond to any given action, person or event. No one can make you think a thought. You generate your own thoughts. No one can think your thoughts for you. Emotion is the natural out growth of thought. Your perception (thought) of a person place or thing is the seed that, once germinated, produces your emotion. You can view something as offensive, repulsive, obnoxious and even hurtful. If you get angry about it, you must take ownership of the anger. You made yourself angry. you chose to be angry. (Morris)
Some people can FORCE you to become angry. They know how to push your buttons and will do it with delight. Their words are deliberately designed to elicit explosive anger. Yes, you might have a choice in the matter sometimes, but there are moments… (Helen)
This past week I became angry at you Helen because I wanted to take a piece of chicken out of a 12-piece to-go order that was meant for someone we both dearly love. It was just one piece that I felt would not be missed. You objected, and I didn’t get a piece of chicken — so silly and trivial looking back at it. I use this real life illustration to ask the pertinent question. Who made me angry? Did you make me angry or did I make myself angry as a result of my own thinking (perception) of the event? (Morris)
You made yourself angry. I won’t go into the extenuating circumstances surrounding that incident. However, on its face, the facts are this: you took offense because you couldn’t have a chicken drumstick out of a box of chicken meant for someone else. You weren’t deprived of any food (there was plenty home-cooked chicken available on the same counter). You weren’t mistreated, nor harmed. There was no intention to disrespect you in any way. There was no motive to harm. In your own mind, you created an emotional response based on your own personal thought. The anger was of your own creation. (Helen)
Dear wife you made my point. I made me angry over a piece of chicken-I don’t mind the transparency at this point it’s therapeutic. It’s amazing how I can spend so much time studying, researching and writing on this subject of anger and still get caught up in it. Today, I can see it for what it is and effectively address it in a constructive way. (Morris)
Sweetie, actually I agree with you. No matter the situation — anticipated or unexpected — there is always a small window of opportunity where you can to decide how you will respond to the event at hand. Unless you’re able to recognize a potentially anger-provoking situation at its earliest development, it’s easy to find yourself caught up in it, still. Anger is not logical. It’s an EMOTION. Emotions don’t deal with facts, nor truth. By the way, you did deal with it constructively and I love you for it! 😀 (Helen)
I recommend the book “The Secret Side Of Anger” by Janet Pfeiffer a certified violence counselor and motivational speaker (http://www.pfeifferpowerseminars.com).
Until next time…Have A Great Day!