no one can MAKE you angry


This is another blog my wife and I tagged teamed together on.

Have you ever said to someone “You make me angry”?  Did you know that’s really not true?  In fact,  you are solely responsible for choosing how you respond to any given action, person or event.  No one can make you think a thought.  You generate your own thoughts.  No one can think your thoughts for you.  Emotion is the natural out growth of thought.  Your perception (thought) of a person place or thing is the seed that, once germinated, produces your emotion.  You can view something as offensive, repulsive, obnoxious and even hurtful.  If you get angry about it, you must take ownership of the anger.  You made yourself angry. you chose to be angry.  (Morris)

Some people can FORCE you to become angry.  They know how to push your buttons and will do it with delight.  Their words are deliberately designed to elicit explosive anger.  Yes, you might have a choice in the matter sometimes, but there are moments… (Helen)

This past week I became angry at you Helen because I wanted to take a piece of chicken out of a 12-piece to-go order that was meant for someone we both dearly love. It was just one piece that I felt would not be missed.  You objected, and I didn’t get a piece of chicken — so silly and trivial looking back at it. I use this real life illustration to ask the pertinent question.  Who made me angry?  Did you make me angry or did I make myself angry as a result of my own thinking (perception) of the event? (Morris)

You made yourself angry.  I won’t go into the extenuating circumstances surrounding that incident.  However, on its face, the facts are this: you took offense because you couldn’t have a chicken drumstick out of a box of chicken meant for someone else.  You weren’t deprived of any food (there was plenty home-cooked chicken available on the same counter).  You weren’t mistreated, nor harmed.  There was no intention to disrespect you in any way. There was no motive to harm.  In your own mind, you created an emotional response based on your own personal thought.  The anger was of your own creation.  (Helen)

Dear wife you made my point.  I made me angry over a piece of chicken-I don’t mind the transparency at this point it’s therapeutic.  It’s amazing how I can spend so much time studying, researching and writing on this subject of anger and still get caught up in it.  Today, I can see it for what it is and effectively address it in a constructive way. (Morris)

Sweetie, actually I agree with you.  No matter the situation — anticipated or unexpected — there is always a small window of opportunity where you can to decide how you will respond to the event at hand.  Unless you’re able to recognize a potentially anger-provoking situation at its earliest development, it’s easy to find yourself caught up in it, still.  Anger is not logical.  It’s an EMOTION.  Emotions don’t deal with facts, nor truth.  By the way, you did deal with it constructively and I love you for it! 😀  (Helen)

I recommend the book “The Secret Side Of Anger” by Janet Pfeiffer a certified violence counselor and motivational speaker (http://www.pfeifferpowerseminars.com).

Until next time…Have A Great Day!

Advertisements

About nobusysignal

Educated, interested and very much alive!
This entry was posted in Anger and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to no one can MAKE you angry

  1. Kudos on a great post. I liked it so much that I re posted it on my blog, giving you full credit of course. When I see a blog that I like, I repost it on my blog to get you new readers.

    Blessings on you and yours
    John Wilder

    • nobusysignal says:

      John, thank you so much for your encouragement, I write from the heart and my wife and I talk openly and honestly with each other. I always pray that my words reach the eyes of the one intended.
      Sincerely, Morris E. Wray

  2. davehambo says:

    Powerful post; required reading for all couples!

  3. tomlstuart says:

    Thanks for letting us eavesdrop on your conversation about anger. Not only an insightful look at the cause of anger but also a good demonstration of resolving the conflict caused by it. Great post!

  4. Samuel Hampton says:

    How true, but not often reflected upon as individual nor couples. Helen and Morris please keep the constructive thoughts coming!

  5. Pro.Recruiter says:

    Very interesting post. I love the way you and your wife write – I find it very sincere and entertaining, yet thought provoking. Wishing you the best!

    Christine Udeani

    • nobusysignal says:

      Thank you Christine, Hope you are having a wonderful day. Again thank you for your words of encouragement, I’ll let my wife see your words as well.

  6. Kali's Heart says:

    This is a great blog! I have to laugh in appreciation as this morning I had a similar experience with a dear friend.

    With your permission, I would like to add you to my blog roll.

    Have an awesome day…Kali

  7. Doraz says:

    Thank you for the link. I do my best to answer all questions with a smile on my face. It does help me to stay focused. 🙂 Have a great week.

  8. Hello, I like your blog. This is a great site and I wanted to post a little note to let you know, good job! Thanks Amy

    Louis Vuitton

    vuitton

  9. Karen Joyce says:

    But, but what about be ye angry and sin not…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s